Closing a Chapter

WILTON IN JULY
singing; juggling; cycling in the dark; fireflies; drawing; clay modeling; javelin; discus; flowers; gymnastics; eurythmy; games; science demonstrations; essays; skits on adolescence; rain & heat; coyote spotting; thunder & lightning; the art of speech; hummingbirds; Gregorian chant; lectures & readings; GRADUATION; good-byes; great food; great friends; great fun

Home is Where the Heart Is

Yes, I've been home, home, home for a month now--aaahh!  While settling in, I felt a wariness in the part of me that wasn't quite certain I was really, truly back home to stay.  In another part of me, being in Edmonton felt so natural that perhaps I hadn't been away after all.  I felt confused about what season and month it was, having returned from a glorious New England spring and summer to Alberta's end-of-winter/early-spring brownness and barenness.  I came home to an instant life, swept into the busyness of family and events and things that needed doing, that had nothing to do with being a graduate student!  I've been dabbling in this and that since my return home, not seeming to accomplish much and feeling the lack of rhythm and regular routine in my life.  

Home is belongingness, confidence, inner peace, and joy.

FEED THE BIRDS

I'm the one who wanted to hang a bird feeder at the corner of our downtown balcony, and Ken humored me by installing it about a year and a half ago.  We watched and waited in vain to be discovered by the wee feathered folk.  This winter, the pillar poplars seemed to enjoy a growth spurt, and they are now as high as the balcony above ours.  And we have birds!  They are mainly LBJs--little brown jobs--and they are oh, so welcome, with their entertaining twittering and flitting about.

On this particular day of the year the French Republican Calendar honours the honeysuckle.  There are 180 species of this plant, at least one of which grows wild in Alberta.  It attracts hummingbirds, and some caterpillars feed upon its leaves.  May your day be as sweet as its nectar!

Our focus tends to be outward, during this season of waxing warmth and light.  (Our feeling soars into wide realms of space; we notice the ascent of the sun; inner events are experienced but dimly.)  Here is this week's verse from Steiner's  Calendar of the Soul:

To summer's radiant heights

The sun in shining majesty ascends;

It takes my human feeling

Into its own wide realms of space.

Within my inner being stirs

Presentiment which heralds dimly,

You shall in future know:

A godly being now touched you.

Lady April

Lady April has come to town, wearing a golden daffodil gown,
All the way from sunny Spain, Lady April has come again.

Celandine and cuckoo-flower dance beside her, hour by hour,
All the birds come out to sing, Lady April a-welcoming.

April, for me, has been about preparing and presenting--in particular, my Big Internship Week, when I was handed the reins for four consecutive main lessons in Grade Four, and my beautifully illustrated botany block book, the major assignment for my Waldorf curriculum class. April has been about greening grass, crocuses, daffodils, pansies, and forsythia. It has been about the most marvelous, melodic birdsong accompanying me on my short walk to school every morning, and the return of the morning doves, with their soft, distinctive hoots. Robins, squirrels, and blackbirds are everywhere, bustling importantly about. April, for me, has been challenging due to illness, and I'm wondering whether missing loved ones in Edmonton has made me more susceptible to whatever viruses are lurking about. I am feeling much heartier now, and a lot more cheerful!

THE GIFTS OF ABSENCE
My relationships with my husband and children have strengthened, during my time away, in unexpected ways. Ken and I have relied on our daily phone calls for mutual support, and I feel a deeper level of understanding, trust, and 'common ground' between us now. One of my children has opened up to me in a lovely, new way, sharing feelings about significant life events. Another of my children has grown healthily independent, learning to stand upright and cope with life's disappointments from a place of individual resourcefulness. I've been made to feel appreciated by my offspring in numerous ways--every mother's dream! Although Ken has been in my life for less than seven years, my children have been sure to include him in all family get-togethers during my absence--he is delighted and deeply touched! And he has bonded with 'my' grandchildren all the more strongly, given opportunities to play with them without their Baba 'interfering.' After every visit I am treated to a play-by-play description of everything Kaliana did and said!

What a wonderful family I have! Shall I sit back, and let them plan our future get-togethers?

SOUL LEARNING
Although there is a 'summer sequence' program at Antioch University, enabling teachers to complete my program during a series of summers, rather than relocating for an entire school year, I chose the 'year-round' program for two reasons. First, I am isolated in Edmonton, as there is no group of Waldorf colleagues there, with which to work. I wanted a 'Waldorf immersion' experience, and second, I wanted a transformational experience. Christopher Bamford articulates what I sought and have found beautifully, within his description of the sevenfold gift of 'Celtic Christianity,' in Chapter Six of his book, An Endless Trace:

" . . . there is deep love of learning and study, study as a curriculum of the soul. Too often, learning and study are discounted, if not abused and reviled, as synonymous with intellectualism abstraction, and literalism or conceptual bigotry. When study and learning are for the transformation of the student, and not for the mere accumulation of information, what is learned becomes who one is."
"The Celtic Christians were . . . interested in becoming fuller, more realized human beings. Their learning was not something other than who they were."
"They studied, they learned, in order to love. Their theology, their religion, was always practical, vibant with life, mystical."

CALENDARS
The Chinese almanac has summer coming in next week, on Tuesday, May 5 (New Hampshire didn't wait!). Today is lily of the valley day, in the French Republican Calendar. I have always loved this tiny flower's exquisite scent. Wikipedia tells us that, "traditionally, Lily of the Valley is sold in the streets of France on May 1. Lily of the Valley became the national flower of Finland in 1967. The meaning of this flower is 'You will find Happiness.'"

For your soul:

I sense a kindred nature to my own:
Thus speaks perceptive feeling
As in the sun-illumined world
It mergest with the floods of light;
To thinking's clarity
My feeling would give warmth
And firmly bind as one
The human being and the world.

A Change in the Year

To My Sister

William Wordsworth
(1770-1850)

---

It is the first mild day of March:
Each minute sweeter than before
The redbreast sings from the tall larch
That stands beside our door.

There is a blessing in the air,
Which seems a sense of joy to yield
To the bare trees, and mountains bare,
And grass in the green field.

My sister! ('tis a wish of mine)
Now that our morning meal is done,
Make haste, your morning task resign;
Come forth and feel the sun.

Edward will come with you;--and, pray,
Put on with speed your woodland dress;
And bring no book: for this one day
We'll give to idleness.

No joyless forms shall regulate
Our living calendar:
We from to-day, my Friend, will date
The opening of the year.

Love, now a universal birth,
From heart to heart is stealing,
From earth to man, from man to earth:
--It is the hour of feeling.

One moment now may give us more
Than years of toiling reason:
Our minds shall drink at every pore
The spirit of the season.

Some silent laws our hearts will make,
Which they shall long obey:
We for the year to come may take
Our temper from to-day.

And from the blessed power that rolls
About, below, above,
We'll frame the measure of our souls:
They shall be tuned to love.

Then come, my Sister! come, I pray,
With speed put on your woodland dress;
And bring no book: for this one day
We'll give to idleness.

HEAVENLY SPRING DAYS!

No, I don't feel guilty crowing about how spring has arrived in New Hampshire, knowing that all my Edmonton buddies were suffering at minus forty degrees only last Wednesday morning. Edmontonians, rejoice! Spring is almost at your doorstep! I just about squealed when I went for my Beauty Walk on Saturday (walking in the woods,with my camera, that is, spotting the beauty in nature) and saw GREEN STUFF coming right out of the ground! Saturday and Sunday were the kind of early spring days that one dreams about all winter, with the sun's warmth penetrating through the back of my jacket. I went back on Sunday with a thermos of tea, and sat sipping it on a bench among the pines, overlooking the reservoir, smiling inside and out. A woman about my age had her fingers happily dabbling in the earth of her flower beds, and I stopped to admire her blooming yellow and purple crocuses. And there's a particular spot on the way to my Sunday-morning coffee shop, where I have begun to hear the unmistakable call of a mourning dove.

Everything is more fun in the spring, and knowing that I'll be home in two months.

FRENCH REPUBLICAN CALENDAR--Dandelion

Ah, today is the day of the lowly dandelion--one of my favorite flowers! The dandelion figures prominently in my botany project book for my Waldorf curriculum class. I held my webcam above my drawing of a dandelion seedling to show Ken, and his comment was, "Hey! That's a weed!" A Saskatchewan farm boy, he is not fond of the dandelion.

RUDOLF STEINER'S CALENDAR OF THE SOUL--Joy-of-growth is now calling to our human souls!

Thus to the human ego speaks

In mighty revelation,

Unfolding its inherent powers,

the joy of growth throughout the world:

I carry into you my life

from its enchanted bondage

and so attain my truest goal.

When Icicles Hang by the Wall

When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
When blood is nipt, and ways be foul,	5
Then nightly sings the staring owl
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all around the wind doth blow,	10
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl—
Then nightly sings the staring owl	15
Tu-whoo!
Tu-whit! tu-whoo! A merry note!
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

Poetry by Wm. Shakespeare, of course . . . and 'keel' means skim (not scrub or stir, as I assumed). I suppose she's called greasy Joan because she likes to slurp the rich yellow globules of oil from the top of the simmering soup! Oh, yum!

The ICICLES are phenomenal, in size and number, on almost every building here in Keene. I have never seen so many icicles! They had to cordon off a section of playground at Monadnock Waldorf School, where I am interning here in Keene, because of those monstrous daggers of ice growing from the roofline of the two-storey brick building. When one of the teachers was able to knock the icicles down, some of the fourth-grade (they don't generally say 'grade four' here) students salvaged a wide group of fused icicles. They installed it in their snow fort, and it's the spiffiest snow fort window I have ever seen.

The self-portrait above is meant to be an indication of the height of the snowbanks in Keene. Schools closed on several different days in December and January, for 'Snow Days.' Apparently they build a few extra days into the school calendar each year, to allow for these impromptu days off. I'm very glad I took these photos last weekend, as the weather has been warm for a couple of days, and all the snow and ice is now shrunken and gray. I don't think there's a by-law here (as there is in Edmonton) mandating that homeowners keep sidewalks shovelled in front of their houses. Riding a bike earlier in the winter was a very bumpy experience. I arrived home after shopping one day with broccoli crumbs and flakes of onion skin all through my bag of groceries. Now I stay primarily on the roads--the very narrow roads. Snowbanks here are not picked up by trucks and carted off to snow yards, as they are in Edmonton.

ROBINS & SQUIRRELS
In the third week of January Miss Marshall called her fourth grade students to the classroom window to observe a tree full of robins. They were unmistakably robins, and you'll never see a robin in Edmonton in January! I've only ever seen them singly or in very small numbers (or else I haven't been very observant). For a couple of days, the schoolyard was inhabited by a great flock of redbreasts. And I guess the squirrels don't hibernate here, for I've noticed one or two scampering about recently.

STUDIES
Won't this blog be a lovely remembrance for me, when I return home to Edmonton? My posts are likely to be fewer and farther between this term, as compared with the fall term, for two reasons. First, I am required to keep a journal of my internship experiences, and I sometimes feel 'all journalled out' after spending Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in Miss Marshall's fourth grade classroom. Second, it's a busier term, and that's a happy reason for me! I'll be doing less whining about not having a life--nothing to do, and no one to do it with, that sort of thing. I am having to be very sanguine, in terms of the topics I am exploring for my classes. Here's my list:

• Fourth Grade: Norse myths, compound words, possessive nouns, fractions, 'the horse' (for Human & Animal), and the history and geography of Portsmouth, New Hampshire
• Waldorf School Administration: encouraging reluctant leaders, reincarnation & karma
  
• Waldorf Curriculum Preparation: Gilgamesh, Demosthenes, The Gulf Stream, Charlemagne & Harun al-Raschid, and a major project on Botany (Curriculum for fifth to eighth grades includes a number of topics about which I am utterly ignorant!)
  

The deal is not to cover the facts, but rather for the teacher to 'live into' the topic, and weave a story that encompasses its essential significance in lively pictures. I love this quote (from Dr. Grohmann's The Living World of Plants): "No single subject, whatever it may be, is without meaning for the development of the child's soul and spirit. It would perhaps be better to say that each subject has a very definite task to perform, which far exceeds its value as information."

CALENDARS
By golly, according to the Chinese almanac, spring arrived on Thursday! It will peak in March, and give way to early summer on May 5th. At Antioch University, September to December was the Fall Term, and the current one is the Spring Term. Isn't it fascinating how they have cancelled out winter altogether? Ken and I figured out that New Hampshire is receiving about an hour of daylight per day more than Alberta is, just now. Everybody's equal on the Equinox, and then Alberta begins to surpass New Hampshire in the race for the most sun time.

According to the French Republican Calendar, today is the day to give thanks for the lowly billhook. (No, I had no idea what it was, either.) Wikipedia tells us: "The billhook is a traditional cutting tool used mainly in European agriculture and forestry, but also common in other parts of the world where it was introduced by European settlers. It is used for cutting smaller woody material such as shrubs and branches." There's a photo of a billhook on the net, and it looks very much like the tool I bought from Lee Valley called a 'crack weeder'--not an elegant or mysterious name at all, is it?

To ponder in your soul:

My power of thought grows firm
United with the spirit's birth.
It lifts the senses' dull attractions
To bright-lit clarity.
When soul-abundance
Desires union with the world's becoming,
Must senses' revelation
Receive the light of thinking.

Happy New Year

ANOTHER STORM
I don't understand New England weather, and I don't understand ice storms. Yesterday evening I checked the weather forecast for Keene, and read:
A Winter Storm Warning remains in effect until 6 am EST Thursday.
This warning is in effect for southwest New Hampshire.
Snow mixed with freezing rain and sleet may change to all freezing
rain Wednesday afternoon. Significant ice accretions of one third to one
half inch are expected during the daylight hours tomorrow. Wednesday night will
continue to be slippery... as mixed precipitation changes back to snow
or snow showers.
The expected storm total 3 to 6 inches of snow and sleet accumulation... in
addition to the glaze... will result in slippery travel on untreated
surfaces.
On my way to Monadnock School this morning, for my first day interning in the Grade Four class, I imagined outdoor recess supervision might be a little challenging. It was a delightful walk--the temperature was very mild with no wind at all, there was a soft, fresh snowfall, and a fine mist in the air. But the school windows were dark, the door was locked, and there were no cars in the parking lot nor footprints in the snow. Sure enough, back at home on Fowler Street, there was a message on my cell phone that school had been canceled due to a 'snow day.' The on-line edition of Keene's newspaper reports:

Another winter storm hits the region
Snow and ice are hitting the Monadnock Region today. Schools in the area are closed.

They call this a STORM? Oh, come ON!!

SHEPHERDS' PLAY
The photo above is the church at a town called Westminster West, where my Antioch University class performed the traditional Shepherds' Play before the holiday break. Some of my classmates and instructors were without power, after the December 12 ice storm, and our performance was in peril due to a heavy dump of snow happening the day of the presentation. But everyone pulled through, and the event was magical. We all seemed to do our best, the story came together beautifully, the audience was appreciative, and we had a wonderful, joyful time together. Lesley, Eileen and I were angels, and my heart melted when Eileen's daughters, Anna and Caitlyn, bestowed upon me their sweet, little-girl hugs after the play.

HOME!
Try to imagine how delightful it was for me, just to be at home, for two weeks at the end of the year! Ken spoiled me with a dozen red roses, I had time to spend with my kids, and I met my grandson, Kai, and my daughter's new boyfriend, Gregg, for the first time. The photo is of me with the dearest little boy and girl in the world--Kai and Kaliana. There were other reunions too--my cousin Darrell and his wife Karen brought together my aunts, uncles and cousins at their home on Boxing Day, and the Luscious Women of my singing group, In Her Voices, cooked up one of our fabulous pot-luck celebrations at the home of Dorothy and Meg, on the morning of New Year's Day. I had lunch with my Argyll friends Maureen and Starla, at Maureen's retreat in Leduc. I ate rich food, got together with loved ones every day, and collected memories and hugs to last my next four months in New Hampshire!

TRYING TO BE PATIENT
I am SO looking forward to my internship--i.e. student teaching--and my classes this term. I've been peeking at my new required course books, doing some preliminary reading, and anticipating the assignments that one of my instructors sent out by email. For his Waldorf Curriculum Preparation class, I will be presenting on Mesopotamia and the Gulf Stream (not that they're necessarily related!), and modeling a Greek temple, a spiral, and two Platonic solids in clay. But these classes don't start until January 16--that's AGES from now! And it looks as though the first day of my internship, originally booked for January 5, may not happen until the 12th, due to interruptions at the school caused by a record five 'snow days' already this winter. I'm raring to go, but I'm facing another 'nothing-to-do-and-nobody-do-do-it-with' weekend to pull myself through, with whatever positive attitude I can muster.

Hey! I rode my bike Sunday and yesterday--my goal is to ride it every month through the winter (though not every day in every month).

According to the French Republican Calendar, today is Octidi, 18 Nivôse CCXVII--the eighth day of the week, the 18th day of the Snowy month, associated with the mineral limestone. Take a moment today to appreciate the roles of limestone in your life, in geological formations, building blocks, cement, white pigment, toothpaste, and as a source of calcium in bread and cereals!

Here is Steiner's Calendar of the Soul verse for this week:

And when I live in spirit depths
And dwell within my soul's foundations,
There streams from love-worlds of the heart,
To fill the vain delusion of the self,
The fiery power of the cosmic Word.

I Survived the Ice Storm of '08!

Here's the email message I sent to my loved ones yesterday morning (Friday, December 12) from Antioch University:

I wanna go home! I checked the weather report on my computer yesterday morning before heading to the university on my bike--it was raining; raining, and there were patches of ice here and there on sidewalks and roads, but it didn't seem that bad! By late afternoon, slush was falling from the sky and freezing on the roads. Antioch University was shut down, and we were sent home early. I left my bike at the school, and a classmate drove me home. Early this morning the power went out in my house. I had cold bread and milk for breakfast, but as I headed out walking into the melting slush, I was cheered to see that a lot of places in Keene still have power. I bought a decaf latte for my thermos on my way to the university. My 8:30 class had been rescheduled for 11:00 this morning, but I turned on my cell phone when I arrived, and there was a message telling me that all my classes today are cancelled. I phoned Ken and pouted!

I'm told Keene is situated in a protected little valley, and that the surrounding areas are in very bad shape. My instructors and several of my classmates live in the surrounding areas. Last night a tree came through the roof of the living room of two of my instructors, and this morning trees continued to split and fall, tearing down power lines as they went. Driveways and roadways are blocked with fallen trees, and major highways are closed.

So, here's what I'm visualizing for myself: I'll ride my bike home this afternoon, and be greeted by a delightfully warm house, with lights shining through the windows!

I'll be able to use my computer, and phone whomever I like using Skype, and my little blue bed will be cosy and warm!

_____________________________________

Not being a spontaneous kind of gal, my initial concern was, "What am I going to do all day, now that my classes are cancelled?" The faculty advisor for my class recently emailed us some reading assignments to complete by mid-January, so I bought one of my 'Spring' term textbooks, and went ahead with the prescribed readings. I chatted with a couple of my classmates (Edith and Astrea) who are out-of-towners, hanging out at the university for the day, because they were staying in Keene for our Shepherd's Play dress rehearsal, scheduled for today (Saturday). I began to worry about the night, (long; dark; chilly) when I called my landlady at 3:00 and learned that there was still no power in our house. She has a broken barbecue and a misplaced camp stove, so we had no hope of so much as a hot cup of tea while the power was off. My plan was to stay at the bright, warm university until suppertime; then eat at a bright, warm restaurant, and then . . . walk around the block or try some bedroom Tai Chi by candlelight to warm up, bundle up and make the best of it in a chilly bedroom.

At suppertime Edith received a call from our drama instructor--no play rehearsal Saturday. She and her husband (another of my instructors) had no power in their house, a broken window, and a blocked driveway--they were essentially prisoners in their cold, dark house. They hadn't been able to sleep during the night because of the snap, crackle, and pop of tree limbs succumbing to the weight of the ice in the forest surrounding their house. This is the couple whose living room was invaded by a crashing tree at 1:00 a.m. While Edith emailed our classmates, Astrea and I went through the class list, calling people on their cell phones to tell them not to travel to Saturday's rehearsal venue. A call came through on my phone from Gary, my housemate, to tell me that the electrical power was restored in our house!

Oh, Joy! Oh, Bliss! Goddess is in Heaven; all's right with the world!

Edith and Astrea drove home to their families, and I realized my visualization: I rode my bike home to a warm house, lit up like a Christmas tree. I cooked myself a hot meal, and celebrated with a Seagram's Ice. (Tee-hee--ice storm Ice!) Oh, the miracle of light switches; furnaces; cooking applicances; hot water! (It's jolly COLD outside this morning--I don't think I would have lasted the night in an unheated house.) Prayers to those who are still without power in their homes.

Seven more sleeps--count 'em! I have three fine, fat novels from the library to tide me over until our dress rehearsal and performance on Wednesday, and biking or walking outdoors every day will help to keep me occupied, as well. Our last full day of classes is Friday, December 19, the day before my flight to Edmonton.

Here is the Solstice verse from Steiner's Calendar of the Soul:

To carry spirit light into world-winter-night
My heart is ardently impelled,
That shining seeds of soul
Take root in grounds of worlds
And Word Divine through senses' darkness
Resounds, transfiguring all life.

Transition Time

NEW ENGLAND: APRIL WEATHER IN DECEMBER
I still see squirrels occasionally, and today a small chipmunk with a very red back streaked across my path--I wonder if they're confused about the season? Monday's high here was -7 C, and this morning (two days later) it was +12 C and raining.

TEN MORE SLEEPS!
Neither buried beneath books, nor home for the holidays, now is a time of wrapping up loose ends and of anticipation. My classes resumed last week, after the Thanksgiving break, with significantly lighter assignment loads. This gives my classmates breathing space to finish their major term projects, but mine are already complete. I handed in my research paper on Leo Tolstoy to my instructor last Friday, one week before the deadline--he thanked me for the 'preemie.' I am learning the tenor recorder part for a few pieces that my class is preparing to perform on December 19th, and I found and stitched some accessories for the three angels in our Shepherds' Play for December 17th. I brought my watercolour painting notebook up to date, and jotted down my ponderings, comparing and contrasting 'touching' and 'beholding,' and my experiences of darkness and light. I registered for my January courses--did you know that we skip winter, at Antioch University? We are coming to the end of our FALL term, and in January we will begin our SPRING term--how convenient! These tasks, and my daily rehearsing, do NOT add up to a full week of work.

I looked after Jan's (my landlady's) dogs while she was away for a few days--fed them, watered them, and gave them attention. Hero and Winnie don't go for walks on leash. I took Safi on two brief walks, but she is quite skittish. She tends to lunge when a car drives by, and she's a big enough girl to provide a challenge for the one holding the other end of her leash! Precious was definitely easier to walk, and you can view photos of her at Robin Hood Park here. (I was mindful NOT to call her by name, in public!)

BOOKS AND STARS
I've read five novels since my last class before the Thanksgiving break, and I've decided I enjoy two Canadian female authors in particular--Joan Barfoot and Gail Bowen. It was fun to read about places in Saskatchewan in Gail's books. I read one of Garrison Keillor's Wobegon books, appropos to living in New England, and I especially enjoyed a new book by Peter Manseau, Songs for the Butcher's Daughter. Its themes include Jewish emigration from the Old Home to Israel and New York, and the Yiddish and Hebrew languages. The Canadian Living web site posts instructions on how to make stars by weaving gift-wrap ribbon, and I've made a couple dozen of these stars, to adorn my bedroom altar as well as the gifts I will wrap back in Edmonton.

FRENCH REPUBLICAN CALENDAR
Several years ago, a local radio station (perhaps CBC) declared, as an April Fool gag, that Canada was switching to 'decimal time.' There would be ten hours per day instead of twenty-four, with ten minutes per decimal hour, and ten seconds per decimal minute. When I found out about the French Republican calendar, I learned that the republicans had proposed this system, and created actual decimal time watches.

The French Republican calendar was used by the government of France for about twelve years, following the French revolution. It seems there was a desire to overturn every possible remnant of previous regimes. Said Romme: "...reason demands that we follow nature rather than servilely continuing upon the erroneous path of our predecessors..." The Republican calendar year began at the autumn equinox and had twelve months of 30 days each, which were given new names based on nature. Each month had three weeks, and each week had ten days. The names of these months translate (approximately) as follows: Grape Harvest, Fog, and Frost (autumn), Snowy, Rainy, and Windy (winter), Germination, Flower, and Pasture (spring), and Harvest, Summer Heat, and Fruit (summer). In England, people mocked the Republican Calendar by calling the months: Wheezy, Sneezy and Freezy; Slippy, Drippy and Nippy; Showery, Flowery and Bowery; Wheaty, Heaty and Sweety. What fun!! The French Republican calendar would make today the twentieth day of the autumn month of Frimaire (Frost). (The first month of winter would not begin until December 21.) Rather than the traditional Catholic saint-days, each day in the FR calendar has a designated animal, mineral, plant or tool (!), and today's special tool is the grub-hoe (tee-hee!).

In my posts of June 18 and August 27, 2008, I mentioned the ancient Chinese almanac from Liza Dalby's book, East Wind Melts the Ice. What is my attraction to these alternative calendars, you ask? I've been asking myself the same question. I believe it is a symptom of nothing less significant than my Quest to find Meaning in Life. A calendar can remind me of the seasons and the rhythms of nature, that nourish the seasons and the rhythms of my soul.

Soul nourishment for this week:

Within my being's depths there speaks,
Intent on revelation,
The cosmic Word mysteriously:
Imbue your labour's aims
With my bright spirit light
To sacrifice yourself through me.

The Mist and All

The Mist and All

by Dixie Willson

I like the fall
The mist and all
I like the night owl’s lonely call
And wailing sound
Of wind around

I like the gray
November day
And dead, bare boughs that coldly sway
Against my pane
I like the rain

I like to sit
And laugh at it
And tend my cozy fire a bit
I like the fall
The mist and all

I have always enjoyed this poem, and have used it with my Heart & Hands classes, although in Edmonton November days are more likely to be crisp, clear and frosty, rather than misty. But the poem has sprung to mind this week, riding my bicycle to and from the university in Keene. I've arrived at Antioch and home again wet every day. In Edmonton, if the puddles in the road are still, it isn't raining. In Keene, the rain can be sneaky. The puddles can be still, but when I begin pedaling my bike the 'mist' seems to begin moving vertically, and my ride becomes decidedly drippy. It's been wet, but warm this week--18 degrees Celsius, this afternoon! It seems rainy here because it is rainy; I looked it up and Keene receives 41 inches of precipitation per year, on average, as compared with Edmonton's 18.

FISHING IS SUCH HARD WORK
Last week, as I rounded the reservoir at the end of my customary Sunday-afternoon stroll, there was a car parked by the side of the road where it runs along the edge of the water. Two men stood by the car; one wielded a fishing rod, and the other was there for moral support, I suppose. I watched the valiant fisherman cast his line, and follow the hook and sinker with his gaze as they struck the water's surface. Then he laid his rod upon the pavement behind the back wheels of the car, and the two energetic sportsmen entered the vehicle and closed the doors, waiting, I imagine, to see whether anything would bite! Such exertion!

COMFORT ROUTINES
I am such a phlegmatic creature of habit . . . I take comfort and satisfaction from establishing little daily and weekly rhythms for myself. Perhaps they help to make me feel at home, and give me the sense of having some degree of control over my life away from home and loved ones. Thursdays, Fridays, and sometimes Saturdays are class days, and I look forward to spending time with my classmates and instructors. I tend to linger at the university after my last class each week, feeling just a tiny bit reluctant to go back to the solitary portion of my week. Every Friday marks the passage of one more New Hampshire week, bringing me ever-closer to Edmonton. Sundays and Thursdays are bath days; on Mondays and Wednesdays, I do bedroom Tai-Chi. ('Bedroom' Tai-Chi involves a lot of repositioning and shuffling around, as I would need about ten feet by twenty-four feet of clear floor space to do a proper set. I don't know of any Tai Chi club within biking distance, and I'm too shy to perform a set in public!) I usually cook a recipe on Mondays, and freeze it in individual portions for future meals. I do laundry on Tuesdays, and wash my sheets once a month.

To set the weekend days apart from my regular Monday-to-Wednesday homework days, I celebrate by serving myself a Guinness or a Mike's Hard with Saturday's supper, and taking myself out on a breakfast date each Sunday. This involves a decaf latte, fresh orange juice and a pastry at one of the coffee shops on Main Street, where I linger over one of my class reading assignments. (I have to do the coffee-shop thing--I used to notice students with their books or lap tops in the Second Cup in Edmonton, and picture myself as one of those, so I now make a point of studying in the coffee shop, although I must say I am more comfortable and less distracted, working at my own little desk in my bedroom on Fowler Street.) I pick up groceries, and head home for more school work and then lunch; then I cycle and walk uphill to Robin Hood Park for my outdoor beauty-walk treat at the reservoir. My assignments are worthwhile and interesting, making schoolwork an effective way to mitigate that whisper of loneliness that hovers close by, here in graduate-school land.

But the best comfort routine of all is my daily evening phone call to Ken--thank you, dear Skype Angel! Ken reads me my mail, and we exchange all the inconsequential news of our respective days. We communicate anything that needs to be communicated to each other, but mostly we just simply hang out together, sharing the same ear space, so to speak. I grouse at him if he has the TV on, or rustles papers near the microphone, or tries to walk around while we're connected, but we often look things up on the net (since we're on line with Skype, anyway) or email things (like photos) to each other while we're 'together' on Skype. I love talking to my kids as well, and to Kaliana! It is incredibly reassuring to be able to access home so cheaply and easily!

The soul's connection this week:

I feel my own force, bearing fruit
And gaining strength to give me to the world.
My inmost being I feel charged with power
To turn with clearer insight
Toward the weaving of life's destiny.

My Classes Begin

SEPTEMBER RAINS

I realize that it rained and stormed plenty, in New Hampshire during July and August, but on Saturday I rode my bike through a downpour caused by the tail end of Hurricane Hannah! (not that big of a deal, admittedly--no high winds, just wet, wet rain). I failed to learn my lesson, however, and ventured forth on my bike yesterday in a light rain that turned quite nasty on my way to the supermarket. I coped with the increasingly startling thunderclaps by swearing under my breath (not very granny-like, and not very Waldorfy, at all, I know). When it rains in New Hampshire, everything seems very dark--darker than when it rains in Edmonton. I really think those wide-open prairie skies let a lot of light shine upon us northern Canadians. Maybe it seems dark here because of the big old, beautiful trees, with their dense foliage. I thought the weather might continue as hot as blazes all month, but I found yesterday and today to be quite chilly, and hooray!--this afternoon the postman delivered my box of winter jackets, boots, and warm woollies that I had mailed to myself from Edmonton.

So, it's not really MY bike at all--Jan, my landlady, has given me the use of one of the bikes sitting in her yard. I had it tuned up and fitted with some safety and comfort gadgets, and wow, cycling is way easier and way more fun than walking! I have more Keene photos to show you, and if you're like me, you'll find looking at them a lot more interesting than reading this dry, black-and-white blog post. Just click here! Could I possibly wish for anything more, here in Keene? Well . . . perhaps a DESK, or someone to HANG OUT WITH, like my KEN, or one/some/all of my KIDS, or some of my BUDDIES, or my GRANDDAUGHTER.

I was very excited to get into classes last Thursday, re-connect with my twelve classmates, and orient myself to the layout of the university. It's a single building, quite small really, but friendly, inviting, and comfortable. Last week was just a two-day week, and we received lots of meaty assignments to carry us through until our next class day, tomorrow. We 'had to' compose a song on the recorder, draw a main lesson book picture, transcribe our notes on Goethe's Colour Trinity into a keepsake painting journal, find and identify symbols in some folk tales, read, read, read and prepare to present excerpts from our reading. I've done just about everything (of course). Our schedule is unusual--we attend classes Thursdays from 4:00 to 8:30, Fridays from 8:30 to 6:30, and almost every Saturday from 9:00 to 5:00. From September to December we will use some of our weekdays for visits to Waldorf schools in the area, and from January to May we will have a full schedule, carrying out internships (i.e. student teaching) in Waldorf classrooms.

I love the 'bits' that are stimulating because they are new or challenging for me--Goethe's Colour Theory and anthroposophy, the 'head' bits. (For example, Steiner provides information about the origins of human life that includes, but goes far beyond, what we know from science, religion and mythology. This week we read about the first of Earth's four evolutionary phases. All we were as people were subtle warmth bodies, without consciousness. Non-physical spiritual beings worked with us and through us, generating the next stage of development for us, for themselves, and for the planet. The first hints of the five senses became apparent. The first sounds were born. The first glimmers of light were perceptible. Time began. Earth was like a mirror, reflecting the beginnings of Life into the cosmos. How did Steiner come up with this stuff? He 'walked around backstage,' checking out the soul-spirit nature of everything that we can see and hear and touch. Every one of us can learn to 'go backstage,' as well, but it takes a lot of time, self-discipline and persistence to travel the path. Why learn about all this stuff? To stretch our capacity for imaginative thinking; to begin to learn what humans are all about, so that we can begin to learn what children are all about, so that we can identify what they need and bring it to them in our classrooms.)

I love the 'bits' that are fun and easy for me--singing, drawing, painting, playing recorder, reciting and memorizing, the 'heart & hands' bits. Not everyone in my program is pursuing a Master's degree, and I believe (although I'm not entirely certain of this) that I'm the only one among us who has experienced the responsibility of planning for and teaching a class of students entirely on my own.

Three of my four house mates have been away for part of this week. When I have the house to myself, the main-floor area is quiet enough that I can read and make notes at the kitchen table. When others are around, I have been working in the Antioch library or using my bed in lieu of a desk. In between going to classes, working on assignments, and taking pictures, I have been practicing my cycling skills and cooking meals for one. So there you have it--my first two (almost) weeks in a nutshell.

From Steiner:

There dims in damp autumnal air
The senses' luring magic;
The light's revealing radiance
Is dulled by hazy veils of mist.
In distances around me I can see
The autumn's winter sleep;
The summer's life has yielded
Itself into my keeping.